Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
