You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
