I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
