I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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