dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
