You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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