How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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