I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she peed on how many people?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.