I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point