it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch