I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked