OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
