So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
