I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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