Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I enjoy the company of your penis
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
