I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My ATM looks so different sober.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
