herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
