I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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