I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
