I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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