Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's blow job season.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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