I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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