i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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