i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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