bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize