You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
