she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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