she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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