I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
