benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
