im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
