I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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