We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
