Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
