Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
