Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
