Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
