Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
