I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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