i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
