My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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