Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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