I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize