So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
