yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
