Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
