I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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