if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
