you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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