I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.