does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.