If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
