I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
God, I missed his penis.
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