do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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