Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
