And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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