Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
