Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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