The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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