I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
