some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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