giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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